Most married parents assume that if something happens to them, everything will “just go to my spouse” and their kids will be taken care of. In Missouri, that is only partially true—and the parts that aren’t true are the ones that can put your children, your money, and even their custody at risk.
When you die without a will or trust, you are considered to have died “intestate.” That means the State of Missouri—not you—decides who gets your property, who controls your money, and who raises your children.
Let’s walk through what really happens.
If One Spouse Dies First
When one married parent dies without an estate plan in Missouri, their estate goes through probate. The court steps in and applies Missouri’s intestacy laws.
Who Gets the Money?
Missouri law does not automatically give everything to the surviving spouse.
The rules depend on whether all children are shared between the spouses:
If all children are from this marriage
The surviving spouse receives:
- The first $20,000 of probate assets
- Plus one-half of what remains
The children receive the other half.
If either spouse has children from another relationship
The surviving spouse gets one-half
The children get one-half
So even in a stable, intact marriage, minor children immediately inherit a portion of the deceased parent’s estate.
That creates a serious legal problem.
Minor Children Cannot Own Money
When a minor inherits money in Missouri, they cannot legally receive it.
So the probate court must open a conservatorship for that child’s share.
That means:
- A judge appoints someone to manage the child’s money
- The money is placed in a court-controlled account
- The surviving parent must ask the court for permission to use the child’s funds—even for basic needs like housing, food, and education
The court will require:
- Annual accountings
- Bonding
- Court approval for withdrawals
Your family becomes supervised by the probate court for years.
And here’s the most dangerous part…
At age 18, the child gets everything
Once the child turns 18:
- The court releases the conservatorship
- The child receives their entire inheritance in cash
- No restrictions
- No protection
- No delay
That could mean tens or hundreds of thousands of dollars going to an 18-year-old overnight.
If Both Parents Die
This is where things become truly frightening.
Without an estate plan, you have:
- Named no guardian
- Created no trust
- Left no instructions
So the court must decide everything.
Who Raises Your Children?
Missouri law requires the court to appoint a guardian for your minor children.
That process looks like this:
- Someone files a petition to be guardian
- Background checks are performed
- Home studies may be ordered
- A judge hears evidence
- Anyone can object
If multiple family members disagree—grandparents, aunts, ex-spouses—the case becomes contested.
That means:
- Court hearings
- Lawyers
- Expert witnesses
- Months or years of delay
During that time, your children may:
- Be placed with temporary caretakers
- Be moved between relatives
- Live with people you would never have chosen
All while the family fights in court.
You could have prevented all of this by simply naming a guardian.
What Happens to the Money?
If both parents die, Missouri law gives everything to the children.
But again—children can’t own money.
So the court must create conservatorships for each child.
The result:
- One court case for custody
- One or more court cases for money
- Ongoing court supervision
- Legal fees paid from the children’s inheritance
The court—not your family—controls how your children’s money is used.
And again…
At 18, they get everything
No matter how immature
No matter how vulnerable
No matter what you would have wanted
They receive the full amount.
Why This Happens
None of this is because Missouri is cruel.
It’s because you didn’t leave instructions.
The court can’t guess:
- Who you trust
- How you want your children raised
- When they should receive money
- How it should be used
So it applies rigid default laws designed for people who never planned.
What an Estate Plan Does Instead
With a proper Missouri estate plan, you can:
- Name guardians for your children
- Create a trust so they don’t receive money at 18
- Allow funds to be used for housing, school, and medical needs
- Avoid probate
- Protect your surviving spouse
- Keep courts out of your family’s life
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